Showing posts with label Jokes for FB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes for FB. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Review of funny fb posts::Why isn't my fb letting me see anybody's post or statuses ...







Review of funny fb posts::Why isn't my fb letting me see anybody's post or statuses ...








The               rules               of               the               road               have               changed.

I'm               not               talking               about               I-95,               I'm               talking               about               the               information               highway;               that               vast               infinity               flooded               with               drunken               texts               and               inappropriate               emails               from               your               co-workers,               friends,               and               occasional               weirdos.

If               Emily               Post               were               alive               today               I'm               sure               she'd               want               to               pull               over               and               cry               at               how               out               of               control               we've               become.

It's               like               we               don't               understand               or               care               about               the               rights               and               wrongs               of               the               web.

It's               high               time               we               set               some               guidelines.

More               specifically,               a               Facebook               RULEBOOK.

Consider               this               my               version               of               "Tiffany's               Table               Manners               for               Teens."

TIP               BEFORE               YOU               TAG
I               know               it's               funny               to               look               through               old               pictures               and               laugh.

Remember               when               French               cuffed               jeans               were               cool?

Or               those               Z               Cavariccis               you               had               to               have?

How               about               the               hypercolor               t-shirts               or               the               tied-dyed-hippie-I-haven't-washed-my-hair-in-days               look?

Yes,               it's               funny.

Yes,               we               should               be               able               to               look               at               those               photos               and               laugh               at               ourselves               right?

WRONG.

Posting               naked/acne-faced/fat               pictures               of               anyone               online               is               not               cool.

EVER.

We               all               went               though               an               awkward               phase               and               amazingly               survived               it.

It               was               hard               enough               the               first               time.

Please,               don't               make               me               relive               it               again.

In               a               perfect               world               you'd               have               to               ask               for               permission               to               post               (the               "tip-off").

But               since               we               live               here               on               Earth,               this               simple               rule               applies:               IF               YOU               WOULDN'T               WANT               A               SIMILAR               PICTURE               POSTED               OF               YOU,               DON'T               POST               IT.

Period.

It's               not               cool               and               it               WILL               come               back               to               haunt               you.

UNFRIEND               THE               EX
Mr.

X-bag               and               his               new               girlfriend               look               really               happy.

But               do               you               really               need               to               obsesses               over               pictures               of               them               every               time               they               eat               a               meal?

Enough               is               enough.

When               a               relationship               ends               it's               time               to               move               on,               that               includes               Facebook               as               well.

A               note               to               the               ex's               out               there:               Keep               your               pictures/posts/cutesy               notes               under               control               .

Don't               forget               that               just               because               you               and               the               ex               are               no               longer,               it's               just               not               cool               to               offer               a               reminder               of               what               once               (or               maybe               never)               was.

It's               like               stalking               in               reverse.

FRIEND               OR               FRENEMY?


               One               thing               I               love               about               "the               book"               is               that               everyone               is               on               it.

I've               been               put               back               in               the               loop               with               my               entire               life.

It's               like               the               curtain               call               of               my               past.

And               that               acne-covered               fat               kid               who               sat               in               the               back               of               freshman               English               has               turned               into               a               hottie!

Even               better,               that               jerk               who               kissed               and               told               in               high               school               is               a               total               loser.

But               while               you               might               be               pleasantly               surprised               that               Joe               Pimple               wants               to               be               your               friend,               he               might               not               have               forgotten               about               how               you               dissed               him               at               the               junior               prom.

While               he               most               likely               won't               seek               some               cyber               revenge               you               never               know.

So               hear               me               loud               and               clear:               It               is               okay               to               block               or               ignore               a               friend               request.

I               give               you               permission.
               SIX               DEGREES               OF               STALKER-ATION               
               I'm               sure               that               you               totally               trust               every               one               of               your               975               friends.

But               keep               this               in               mind:               Friends               can               see               friends               of               friends               of               friends               of               friends.

While               it's               really               cool               that               you've               got               even               more               adoring               fans               than               Miley               Cyrus,               opening               yourself               up               to               a               huge               network               poses               its               own               special               problems.

And               not               just               for               you.

I               recently               got               what               I               thought               was               a               harmless               request               from               this               guy.

Let's               call               him               Mike.

Flashback               to               high               school               where               crazy               Mike               stalked               my               best               friend.

All               these               years               later               this               nut-job               is               still               at               it,               trying               to               use               me               to               get               to               her.

Sorry               buddy,               you               can't               pull               the               curtain               over               this               kitty's               eyes.

What               do               you               do?

When               in               doubt,               just               say               no.

When               you               deny               a               friend               request               they               don't               get               some               message               that               says               "yeah               right"               (although               at               times               I               wish               it               did).

The               end               result:               no               harm               no               foul.


               
               GOOGLE               GONE               WILD               
               You've               been               warned               a               million               times               but               you're               still               considering               posting               that               picture               from               your               cousin's               bachelorette               party.

Think               again.

Carefully.

Better               yet,               why               don't               you               ring               up               your               boss               at               2               a.m.

and               see               if               they               think               it's               funny               that               you               had               a               wardrobe               malfunction               at               that               frat               bar?

Wouldn't               grandma               laugh               at               that               the               photo               of               you,               face               down               with               "Kick               Me"               written               on               your               back               in               lipstick?

Oh               wait               ...

that's               not               who               the               picture               is               meant               for?

Well               guess               what?

If               you               post               it,               they               can               see               it.

Forever               .

There               is               no               delete               in               cyberspace               folks.

Don't               forget               it.
               PARENTS               
               Let               me               set               the               scene.

You               log               in,               and               yippee               …               you               have               a               new               friend               request               from               …               Mom!?!

Why               the               #$%^&               is               Mom               on               FB?

Well,               for               those               of               you               who've               moved               far               from               your               home               town               or               country,               there's               no               denying               that               the               "book"               is               a               great               way               to               stay               in               touch               with               your               family?

But               for               the               rest               of               us               who               still               live               close               to               home,               or               maybe               even               AT               home,               where               your               parents               can               actually               see               you               everyday,               it               seems               a               bit               unnecessary.

Think               carefully               when               choosing               to               accept               your               parents               into               your               inner               circle               of               friends.

I               know               this               sounds               harsh               and               a               lot               of               us               may               have               a               really               hard               time               rejecting               the               woman               or               man               that               gave               us               life.

But               think               about               it.

Do               they               really               need               to               know               Jenny               from               across               the               street               who               you               grew               up               is               playing               for               the               other               team?

Especially,               if               she's               not               out               of               the               closet               yet               to               her               own               family.

If               you               decide               to               accept               your               parents,               remind               them               about               the               Google               Gone               Wild               clause.

The               boss               doesn't               need               to               see               those               naked               shots               of               you               playing               in               the               pool.

So               don't               even               think               about               it               Mom!
               THANKS               BUT               NO               THANKS               
               Be               selective               when               sending               invites               and               apps.

I               don't               need               a               cyber               beer,               bear,               or               birthday               hug.

I               know               I'm               from               New               York,               I               don't               need               the               checklist.

I'm               sure               the               (Lil)               Green               Patch               will               save               the               world               but               please               leave               me               out               of               it.

And               poking?

That's               just               weird.

Shy               away               from               giving               or               receiving               those.
               AND               FINALLY…               
               It's               ok               to               admit               it.

Everyone               is               addicted               to               Facebook.

I'm               constantly               checking               it               at               work,               at               home,               wherever               there's               free               Wi-Fi.

I               even               have               status               updates               sent               to               my               phone!

If               Jeff               (you-know-who-you-are)               is               ever               single               again,               I               want               to               be               the               first               in               line!

It's               crazy               I               know,               but               if               you               pass               any               desk               in               my               office,               4               out               of               5               people               are               on               it.

Bossman,               don't               fire               us.

Its               borderline               addiction               but               there's               a               reason               why               we               can't               quit.









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